The Gene Pool:
My mom. My mom died on July 7, 1999. She almost took me with her. It has been the hardest thing in the world to live this life without her. I miss her every day. My mom enjoyed pot, union organizing, music, her kids, and Nick-at-Nite.
My dad. All I can say is, after all these years, we're still working on it, and that's got to count for something. My dad enjoys working on race cars, the boondocks, being elusive, infidelty, divorce attorneys, and football.
My step-dad. My adoptive father. Died in 2001 from liver failure. My stepdad enjoyed music, Jack Daniels, Jim Beam, model trains, being abusive to his family, not paying utility bills, and controlling others.
My sisters. My sisters are the lights of my life. I helped raise them when I was younger, and miss not seeing them every day. My sisters enjoy swimming, being brilliant, sleepovers with friends, phone calls, birthday presents, and not caring that I'm gay (much to the dismay of their side of the family).
Grandpa. Grandpa was the 75-year-old patriarch of my family. Part of the original odd couple from hell, we shared a house since I rolled into town at 16. Grandpa was the father I never had, and enjoyed hunting, being grumpy, bad jokes, Republicans, FOX News, and taking good care of me.
My uncle. My uncle is my grandpa's son. I have to say that, because otherwise you'd never know. He is essentially useless. My uncle enjoys whining, complaining, computer games, Oxycontin, and milking people for money.
My aunt. Sigh...my aunt is my dad's youngest sibling, and the other gay relative. She was such a force in my life, up until she went batshit crazy. I think it may be in the gene pool. My aunt enjoys music, moving, Uhaul relationships, Jeopardy, her cult leader guru psychiatrist, and being angry.
The Chosen Family:
Ali. The best friend from college. I met Ali at Bennington. She's the most amazing artist I know. I'm in the process of begging her to design my next tattoo. She is straight-up FABULOUS. Ali enjoys art, laughing hysterically (while remembering times that I've been an idiot), drinking, Janet Jackson, and shopping.
Ari. I met Ari at my first real job. She rocks. I'm serious. She gets me grounded faster than you would believe. Ari enjoys dancing, cooking for others, giggling, her family, and being a stress*monkey.
Bully. Bully wears pigtails AND drives a pickup. Yum. She is way too cute, even if she IS a boyfriend stealer! Bully enjoys working her ass off, Roadhouse Iced Teas (and drinking me under the table), movies, giggling and puppies.
Greggie. I won Greggie in the divorce. He and TheEx were best friends since elementary school until I stole him away. Oopsy. We've been there for one another countless times. He's my future baby daddy. Greggie enjoys the internet, anime, listening to me bitch, movies, and installing ceiling fans (although not properly).
Gretchen. I have known Gretchen for many, many moons. Our relationship has endured despite our differences. It's funny. No one seems to know why we're friends...Gretchen enjoys talking shit, getting drunk, laughing at me, politics, fighting for our rights, and her adorable hot femme girl Emily.
J. One of my best friends, my housemate, my boy-toy, my lover. We've known one another forever, and it just gets better every day. See our love*story here. J enjoys coffee, the South, social justice, clove cigarettes, psychology, thrift stores, record collecting, and being the one I just can't help but love.
JJ. I met JJ through my job at the evil call center. She says that when she met me, she was intimidated. She has since realized the hilarity of that statement. JJ enjoys being the mommy to my beautiful god-niece Em, going to Famous A's, "Office Space," her puppies, her lovely husband, and giving me free therapy.
Melissa. Years ago, when we were first introduced, she took one look at me and pronounced me femme. Life was never the same. One of my all-time favorite people, I am SO glad to have her back in my world. Melissa enjoys coffee, porch-sitting, lesbian blues singers, kitchen appliances, tea and sympathy, and love.
Raven. Raven is one of the best people I have EVER met. She has seen me in every light and still publicly admits to knowing me. She's a doll. Raven enjoys going to work late, driving like a maniac, being cute, and Madison the Wonder Car.
The Old Flames:
Michael. This relationship ran about three years too long. He was my first everything, and where I learned what never to do again. It's funny...after all the angst, I now consider him more like a little brother. Hope you're happy out there, muchacho. Michael enjoys testosterone, having only four emotions, being reclusive, his lovely wife, and being a perpetual 12-year-old boy.
Abby. The Jewish Girl to my Shiksa Goddess. I've learned a lot from her over the years, in so many different ways. She's the best. Abby enjoys recovery, celebrity gossip, Dolly Parton, animals, expensive haircuts, and Madonna.
C. Hmmm. Aside from those three years of bliss with Michael, the one I now regret the most. She's a great person, but we had no business together. We shouldn've stayed friends, darlin, but again, hope she's doing okay out there. C enjoys Penhaligon's, selling her considerable talent to tabloids, Chachi, fireflies, acting macho, Viva La Bam, bad pickup lines, and shopping carts.